Piano Answers

now im not sure if i do have anxiety issues but heres an example of what i go through alot .
today in school (im in grade 10), we had to perform in front of my music class a song i have been practicing for a good few weeks. i knew the song, i knew it off by heart. when im just practing im am half decent, & i dont really mess up because of how much i practiced. but come time today to present i freaked. i sat down to the piano & i started shaking & freaking out & almost like mini hyperventilating & teary eyes, nervous foot tap, that kinda thing. then i started to play & i think i messed up a note, but a few notes in my teacher move my chair up the piano so i would be playing up an octave instead of what i was used to. i panicked starting freaking out & i cried & i was like wwhyd you do that not i dont know where im to!!!! so he restarted the song for me & i played again, still crying cause i was so nervouse. i got through the song thank god. & i got a 90% .
i have a feeling it was just because he felt bad for me. he came over to talk to me after & apologized for freaking me out & i started to cry again because i was embarsed from crying.
this type of thing happens alot, such as durring tests, recieving tests marks, & espically presenting, it happens when i present projects aswell. i just freak out & worry & stress..
how do i get over this issue i have, & what would you call it .please help..xo

How can I convince my dad to give me text?
I tried to ask him nicely & here were my reasons
he told me I dont get out much & hang out like “normal kids” but then he doesnt want me to have text. It’s like he wants me to be social but doesn’t want me to have text?
My reasons for text were:
Helps get to know people better relationships with friends
Is an important tool in a relationship with a girl
It’s the only way to talk to anyone because no one actually calls anymore
It’s only ten bucks a month more & he’s a doctor he should be able to afford it
People told me I need to get texting badly
I want to have fun I don’t want to miss out anymore compared to my friends
I been home for the past 10 years & not really got to hang out with anyone sleep overs, go to the mall etc.
I’ve never been to a summer camp cause he said it was a waste of money
Another reason i didn’t mention to him though was that he sends his mom 3 grand everyother month just so she can buy “vitamins” alcohol.
I just feel like I’ve missed out on too much during the “fun days” of my life & I just want to have a little fun during my High School years.
I’ve always had straight A’s in Honors classes
I never ask for anything & everything I own I get from my mom who has to work & deal with a lot more stress than him. She buys me & my siblings our clothes, tuition for school & our piano lessons. Because my dad says all that is a waste of money.
All my dad does is ***** & complain about money when i saw in his excel spreadsheet of finances he was loaded well in my eyes with about 50 grand when me & bros & my mom are the ones doing all the chores around the house & he says i dont do anything at all to even deserve a phone.
sorry that i just went off ranting a little bit
His reasons
Waste of money because you dont make money texting
Waste of time
“If they were really your friends they would be your friend even if you don’t have texting” but they are my friends they always invite me to their house but my dad doesnt let me go do anything with them
“That’s alot of money” i say in my head your a doctor its only 120 a year
“You have to work for it” i say in my head I already get excellent grades & do chores around the house
I just finally for once in my life just want to have fun & feel like a “normal” kid Me & my brothers & my mom feel like he gives all of his attention to his mom
We don’t even feel like we really are his family some days.
He doesnt know squat about us personally
because of him im kinda skrewd up in the head
because of him my mom is emotionally disturbed
because of him my brothers dont respect him
because of his mom he is like that cheap, selfish, & not a real father figure.
what the saddest part is that I look up to my friends dads they have actually thought me more about life than him
Their the guys who played catch with me at the park while he was on the phone making long distance calls to his mom
I just for once want something
I know that Jesus loves me but I just feel like this is too much
I’m really sorry but I really need some guidance please