How Can I Get My Nearly 5 Year Old Son To Enjoy Playing Piano So He Can Practice More Often?
I have enrolled him in a music conservatory last April. He knows 3 simple songs, & he also knows how to read music. The challenge comes in when he will not play anything new or he goes at such a slow pace that he cannot keep up with the class. In other words, he is currently 3 songs behind. I have tried the following approaches so far: 1) asking him to play what he already knows as a warmup 2) playing myself & asking him to join in 3) providing incentives like ice cream if he plays for 5 minutes 4) removing mindless activities like watching television until he has had his daily session. I know it’s been a praticularly bad piano practicing week because he has not had any television since last Wednesday. In other words, I didn’t allow him to watch any television until he had even one practice session. Another part of the problem is if he has a break between piano practice sessions it’s like pulling teeth to get him back on the piano again.
Tags: Enjoy, More, Nearly, Often, Piano, Playing, Practice, Year
August 24th, 2009 at 3:41 am
Ask your son if he likes playing piano. Don’t make him play if he doesn’t like it. I’d either wait until he’s a little older, about 6 & try again, or even try another instrument. I think it’s great that you want to “enrich” his life with something other than television, just don’t get obsessed; let him be a kid.
Teach him some fun kids’ songs to play & tell him how “cool” he is & let him show off for his friends ; )
August 24th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Why are you forcing your child to do something he isn’t interested in? Shouldn’t his activities result from things he LIKES? My 6 year old would never sit still for that. And the more I pushed him, the more he’d refuse. He does sports & karate & loves both. Find something your son likes, & he’ll be begging to practice, instead of being bribed. Don’t force your wants & desires on him, let him decide what he’d like to do for fun.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Wow you really rambled on forever! I thought i would never get to the end to answer it. He may never like it! Take him to lessons once & a while but dont push it down his throat. If you are always bringing him to lesson after lesson & making him play at home he may get sick of it. A 5 year old needs to be out playing games with other children. Sitting down all the time at such a young age may cause him to gain weight & become over weight later on. So get him up & active playing with other kids outside getting much needed vitamin D from the sun. Maybe save the lessons for when he is age 10+.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
well lets see u cant he is 5 for heven sake let him be a little kid while he can he wont be one long & maybe he dont like it maybe he will resent u for forcing him to take piano lessons. all u can do is wait & see if he wants to do it not wait & see if u want him to. u cant force him to do what u want him to in that case. cause what if he dont like it dont u care what ur kid likes or thinks be a better mom damn just ask him about it ask him if he likes it or if he even wants to play
August 24th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
You are probably going to like my answer about as much as you like the others, but here goes: Give him a break. By stopping piano lessons for a year or two, you are not going to harm your child in any way. Maybe Mozart was playing at 3 or 4, but he is one person in the whole history of the earth. Could your child be the next Mozart? Maybe, but what if he’s not? Maybe he’ll be the next Bill Gates instead. My point is, what’s the rush? You even seem to be rushing his age. He is four, & was clearly four when you enrolled him in the music conservatory. That is awfully young. You say there are other children that young in his class, but children mature at different rates. Boys especially have a hard time sitting in one place, & doing something they are bored by. Letting your son stop with the piano now is not the same as your parents letting you quit guitar at 13. Why not try some other music enrichment class for pre-schoolers. He will be able to play with lots of different instruments, dance, sing, etc. There is plenty of time for piano when he is a little older. I know you want the best for your child – we all do – but sometimes more isn’t better. My boys started around 8. They are able to fit it in with their homework, which by the way, is not heavy at the age of 6 or 7. It’s practically nonexistent. I tried to be polite with you & make useful suggestions, but I can see now that there is no getting through to you. Yes, music is a wonderful thing for a child’s brain, but so are so many other things. You are obviously an older (checked your other questions) first-time mother who is way too focused on your child’s achievements, to the detriment of his mental health. Anyone who admires a parent who forces an 18 month old to ice skate, so they can be future hockey players is disturbed. A child that age has only been walking for a few months, for heaven’s sake.
August 24th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
evedentally th child is not interested in learning anything else on the piano maybe you are pushing him to hard to live a dream u had hes not even 5 yet let him be a kid , maybe he wants to learn how to play something diffrent like the violin , flute etc , dont go buy what the conservatory or whatever in the heck that is let your child decide if a child is pushed into doing something to please there parents sports etc , all they will know is i need to do this to make so n so happy , think of the child & let him /her be happy at what ever they do , if he likes piano but likes 3 or 4 songs so be it , as long as hes happy playing those songs let him play them , & as time goes buy maybe he will learn others maybe not , many parents make the mistake of putting there kids in sports that thy dont like maybe a parents dream or likes basketball but the kid wants to play football , instead of the parent letting the kid playfootball they put them in basketball which is wroung , same goes for music lessons etc , let the child decide what instrument they want to pay & encourage them to do there best at that instrument
well if your setting goals for your son or daughter then u know that goal are not acomplished when you want them to be obsticals come in the way of someones goals etc , as for never giving up there are ways to teach your son/daughter not to give up but it looks & sounds like he gave up on the piano because its not what he wants , & if u have to offer ice cream etc to get your child to do something then evedentally its not what he or she wants to do , theres a such thing as a parent living there dreams through a kid , & it sounds like you maybe one of those parents , ie lil jimmy down the block is 4 & can swim 5 laps in the pool without anyhelp , stacewy axross the street is 6 years old & can do a triple toe jump etc , from what i read it sounds like your trying to fit in with the friends you have so u can say aww lil billy can play 6 songs in its intierty on the piano when u hear them braging bout there kids , im not saying your not letting your child be a kid but you may be pushing a lil to hard & there for its making him pull away .
THEN ALL I CAN SAY IS BACK OFF FROM THE PIANO LESSONS , LET YOUR CHILD APPROACH THE PIANO ON HIS OWN LIKE HE DID WHEN HE WAS 3 4 OR WHATEVER AGE IT WAS SOME KIDS ARE JUST FASINATED THAT WHEN THEY HIT A KEY OR BUTTON THAT IT MADE A SOUND , U CAN GO TO A STORE AND GET HEIM A RECORDER ITS LIKE A FLUTE IE BUT A LIITTLE CHEAPER, AND IT ALSO HAS A MUSIC BOOK THAT IS LETTER CODED AS WELL AS COLOR CODED AND THE RECOREDER IS ALSO MARKED TRY AND SEE IF THE KID IS INTERESTED IN THAT , , THE CHILD MAY HAVE BETTER DEXTERITY THAN WHAT YOU GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR , BUY HIM SOME TOY INSTRUMENTS AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO WITH THEM U MAY BE SURPRISED , AND MAYBE IF U BACK OFF THE PIANO FOR AWHILE INSTEAD OF FORSING HIM WHICH U ARE FORCING HIM BY GROUNDING HIM FROM TV TILL HE PRACTICES ETC THATS FORCING HIM AND PIANO LESSONS IS NOT SOMETHING IN LIFE THAT IN MANDATORY FOR A CHILD AT ANYAGE TO DO , EDUCATION SHOULD BE YOUR MAIN PRIORITY FOR YOUR CHILD NOT PIANO LESSONS , MAYBE YOUR CHILD WANTS TO COLOR AND DRAW ETC GIVE HIM ART LESSONS , ,MAYBE HE MAY WANT TO STOP LIVING YOUR DREAM THROUGH YOUR CHILD , TAKE THE PIANO LESSONS YOURSELF AND THEN TEACH YOUR SON TO PLAY WHAT YOU KNOW WHEN HE IS READY AND WILLINGhttp://www.soundfeelings.com/free/piano_…
“Forcing a child to study piano is for their own good & they will appreciate it later.”
Reality: For the small percentage of people for whom this may be true, there is a much higher percentage of people who end up permanently pulling away from music! I can verify this as most of my students are adults & many of these are “returnees.” These are people who quit the piano for 35 years because they were traumatized as kids, being forced to play in recitals that they were not prepared for, or to take endless lessons that they hated. These are people who, as a result, overcompensated by having NO music in their life at all! These broken souls need a lot of encouragement & healing & love. They can definitely become confident musicians in the long run, but it is very hard work at that point, because the trauma often cuts so deeply into their consciousness. If I detect that a child does not like the piano, then I will inform the parents that I cannot be his or her teacher, because I do not want to perpetuate such a cycle.
“If I want to play other instruments, the piano is a good foundation & will make those other instruments easier to learn.”
Realty: This is a serious myth. Some of the best violinists & flutists & cellists & saxophonists NEVER had piano lessons. Learning any instrument will have its challenges. There ARE certain things that are clearer on the piano because the notes are laid out in a linear order, so on certain cases, when you are learning scales or chord theory, it is often easier to understand. However, it does not necessarily make you BETTER on other instruments because you have had piano training first.
OK FIRST OF ALL DID YOUR SON SAY MOMMY I WANT TO TAKE PIANO LESSONS IF NOT THEN ITS YOU THAT WANTS HIM TO TAKE THE LESSONS ETC , MAYBE HE DONT WANT TO TAKE PIANO LESSONS OR HE IS HAPPY WITH WHAT HE HAS ALREADY LEARNT AND GROWED BORED OF IT , I CAN UNDERSTAND IF THE CHILD SAID MOMMY I WANT TO PLAY PIANO AND TAKE LESSONS CAN U INROLL ME ETC ABOVE I PUT A WEB SITE AND THAT WHERE I GOT THE INFORMATION THAT WAS PLACED BELOW THE WEB SITE ILL LOOK FOR OTHER SITES AS WELL THAT MAYHELP YOU BUT THERE IS A SUCH THING AS PRASCTISING TO MUCH , THE LESSONS SHOULD BE FUN NOT JUST PRACTICE PRACTICE SO MAYBE IF U CAN MAKE UP A SONG THAT MAY BE FUNNY TO YOUR CHILD IT MAY GET HIM INTERESTED , AND MAYBE ITS THE TYPE OF MUSIC HES LEARNING HOW TO PLAY MAYBE HE WANTS TO PLAY SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS JINGLE BELLS , OR TWINKLE TWINKLE
August 25th, 2009 at 12:11 am
Have you tried private lessons? Children learn at different speeds & with various methods. It may be hard for him to be in a class where he seems to be trying to play catch up – how can that be enjoyable?
Whoever mentioned 2nd grade is right. That is the recommended age to start lessons. However, recommended does not always mean right – it depends on the child. My daughter’s piano teacher will not take a student would can not read on their own.
My daughter has been in gymnastics since she was 2 & started piano (private lessons) shortly after she turned 6. She is now 7 1/2 & going into 2nd grade. I have never once had to force (drag, bribe or beg) her to go to the gym (even as a 2 year old) or to practice the piano. She loves both activities & always has.
Music & piano may not be your childs thing & if so, help him find something that is. There are many other activities & though some may cost more than others, his happiness & enjoyment should be work the extra $$.
If my daughter doesn’t enjoy something I do not force her to do it. She has a choice in what she does. However, if she signs up for something & wants to quit I make her finish it out for the duration. Then when it is time to sign back up she doesn’t have to. She also knows she can always change her mind & sign up for the activity the next time around.
AND as a 5 year old my daughter tried softball & decided she did not like it. And recently (after 2 yrs.) she has decided she no longer enjoys dance. She finished these things out but did not sign up for the again. I make her see things through because signing up for an activity is making a commitment & she needs to understand that commitments need to be fullfilled. FYI – She replaced softball with tennis & loves it!
August 25th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Maybe you should get him the sheet music for a couple of songs that He wants to play instead of the ususally boring tunes that the music teachers dole out. If that doesn’t work out then maybe the piano isn’t the instrument for him. Ask him what instrument he would like to play.
August 25th, 2009 at 8:23 am
You have started him a little too early & forcing him to continue will only make him hate it. Children should begin piano around 2nd grade & they should be encouraged to continue for at least 3 years before changing instruments.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Ummmm………maybe he doesn’t like piano anymore. You shouldn’t make them do something that you think they want to do. Did he ask to take piano lessons or did you decide that he wanted to take them. If he didn’t choose to take the lessons then you shouldn’t punish him because he has lost interest in it.
August 25th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Maybe rather than have several incentive/denial plans in place, it’s better to just stick with one? Encourage him by telling him how much you enjoy hearing him play.
Does he say why he doesn’t like to practice?
Edit:
Sounds like something to just continue to stick out. Odds are he’ll appreciate it later but you definitely have my sympathy during the rough parts. More parents should encourage their children to stick with challenging tasks like this.
August 25th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
it doesnt really sound like he wants to play. Maybe u can ask him if he wants to & if he doesnt then dont force him. Ask him what he’s interested in & let him do that. He’s only 5.
August 25th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
If he doesn’t want to play – don’t make him. For the love of God – Don’t be that mom!
April 6th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
I love to play the piano and always did. Instead of the joke about practicing an hour in my house it was “you’ve already played your hour – stop!”
If your son wanted to play he would. Pushing him will make him hate it even if he does like it. While I truly believe that music and especially complex skills like playing the piano are extremely beneficial perhaps it is too early for him or he would be interested in another instrument instead.
It is not too early to teach him to be self-motivating and to learn to make his own decisions. If he really wants to do something he needs to commit to doing it or you’ll be pushing and dragging him through life indefinitely.